The title says it all!
I have heard from the insurance company, for mom's life insurance policy. The are now in the investigating process. Which means that they will be contacting her primary physician to confirm that everything is legit. In addition to her primary physician...they will also be contacting two doctors that maybe seen her a total of three minutes in the emergency room!! How that figures into the gist of things...is beyond me! So now is the waiting game. Now I wait! The funeral home waits! And I am not happy about it. It's not like it is a huge amount of money...just enough to cover her "bare minimum" funeral and maybe apply SOME towards a marker/headstone.
I hate having the bill hanging over my head in the mean time. The funeral home has been very understanding and that helps with the anxiety aspect of it all. That is about all I waited to vent about today...sad isn't it?
Until later.........
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Needs improvement!
My new plan needs improvement! Not doing so good with the new eating lifestyle change thingy. Better than last week, but not good enough by any standards.
But I shall not give up! Baby steps...yeah that's the ticket. I will make improvements everyday, little by little. That's about all for now. Hopefully I will have better posts in the future. Until then...wish me luck:)
But I shall not give up! Baby steps...yeah that's the ticket. I will make improvements everyday, little by little. That's about all for now. Hopefully I will have better posts in the future. Until then...wish me luck:)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
It's time AGAIN!
It is time again to re-evaluate my diet. I am now 40 years old and it is time to really consider the consequences of my weight. Now, is really the time to get it under control. Why? Because even at my current weight, I'm still very healthy. My BP is perfect, my cholesterol is excellent, no evidence of onset diabetes, etc. I go through this every year. I look at myself and think "this is the year"! However, I never seem to be able to stick to it for the whole year. This year is going to be different. I promise myself this! Why? Because I am going to do something different this year. I am going to journal my progress. Right here! On this blog.
I need to do this for so many reasons. I need to do it by myself, for myself. I also, want to do this for my family. What type of parent am I, if I can't set a good example for my children. I preach healthy eating...yet...I look at myself in the mirror, and it is clearly evident that I don't always practice what I preach. I need to do this in a way that my children (especially my daughter) view as a health choice not a diet. Diet is not a word I like to use or hear. There is such potential for misuse, in that word. And with a soon to be teenage daughter...I can't take that risk.
Before the holidays, I was on the right track. I had cut out sodas, watched my types of carbs, and increased my protein. I had lost 29 lbs. Yay me! However....I have gained all but 9 back...oops. When mom was in and out of the hospital and things were hectic and stressful...I found that I was eating constantly. I think for a source of comfort. Then after mom passed away, I found myself forgetting to eat, which is not good for my metabolism. So then, of course whatever I eat...my body is going to store because it doesn't know when it's gonna see food again. Now, I seem to be eating more frequently just not the healthiest all the time.
This is the plan: watch portion sizes, cut out pop (again), watch carbs, and eat only at the table. NO more eating in front of the T.V. It's the rule with the kids, so I guess I better practice what I preach. Probably would be a good idea if I stop eating chocolate and ice cream too:)
Today is the day then! Today I start my new project...ME! Here's to good luck and success!
I need to do this for so many reasons. I need to do it by myself, for myself. I also, want to do this for my family. What type of parent am I, if I can't set a good example for my children. I preach healthy eating...yet...I look at myself in the mirror, and it is clearly evident that I don't always practice what I preach. I need to do this in a way that my children (especially my daughter) view as a health choice not a diet. Diet is not a word I like to use or hear. There is such potential for misuse, in that word. And with a soon to be teenage daughter...I can't take that risk.
Before the holidays, I was on the right track. I had cut out sodas, watched my types of carbs, and increased my protein. I had lost 29 lbs. Yay me! However....I have gained all but 9 back...oops. When mom was in and out of the hospital and things were hectic and stressful...I found that I was eating constantly. I think for a source of comfort. Then after mom passed away, I found myself forgetting to eat, which is not good for my metabolism. So then, of course whatever I eat...my body is going to store because it doesn't know when it's gonna see food again. Now, I seem to be eating more frequently just not the healthiest all the time.
This is the plan: watch portion sizes, cut out pop (again), watch carbs, and eat only at the table. NO more eating in front of the T.V. It's the rule with the kids, so I guess I better practice what I preach. Probably would be a good idea if I stop eating chocolate and ice cream too:)
Today is the day then! Today I start my new project...ME! Here's to good luck and success!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
2011 - New Beginnings
That's what my hope is for this year. 2010 ended in a way one never wants to experience. I lost my mother December 2, 2010. It still at times seems so unreal! I find myself still wondering "if". If I had done something different would she still be here today? If I had been more aggressive with finding answers to questions on my moms health in the very beginning, maybe she wouldn't have gotten burned. If I had just expected more from her caretakers and doctors. If I had just, then maybe. But, none of that brings her back.
Now, I try to move forward. That is very hard at times. She was such a large part of my everyday process. Now I have empty chunks of time in my schedule and struggle with how to fill the time. Every week seems to get better, I know that my house has never been so clean! I continue to keep very busy with work, which was a godsend as well a crutch. I would keep so busy with my schedule at work that I wouldn't really have time to grieve until after everyone was in bed for the night. Then I would feel. Feel all the loss and pain. Sleeping was a struggle. I finally had to ask my doctor for something to help. I now seem to be handling the sleeping, which in turn has helped with handling the emotions and grieving process.
The best part to come from all of this, is the reconnection with family. Family that I have not seen since a small child. I know that this would make my mother very happy. Connecting with her father and her brothers was always very huge for her. Now I plan to do this for her. It has definitely been therapeutic for me. I just wish that it hadn't taken her death to make this process actually happen. I had connected with Jeff and Jon before she became ill, but didn't connect with Joel until after she ended up at Spectrum. Now, Joel and I email and chat frequently. My grandfather isn't doing so well, but my uncles are taking very good care of him and respecting his wishes as well. My hope is to visit him soon. Something else that my mother would have loved to have done, and would be happy to see something like that happen.
My goal is to now resume my studies for certification. I had to put them aside during all the craziness over the last couple of months. I am also contemplating college courses. Doesn't hurt...right?
The kids continue to do very well in school. Dustin, is now showing some interest in college. Which is GOOD! Which means he has goals developing. Anna has a boyfriend! Way too young, but if I fight it...it will only cause problems. For now, she shares everything and that is the way I want it to stay. Plus, it could just be a phase she is going through and she may loose interest???
The next couple of weeks will be full of finalizing my mothers affairs and sorting through papers and pictures. I pray that the life insurance pays out, so that I can pay for the funeral expenses and start looking for a proper headstone. And the studying, can't forget the studying!
Here's to 2011, may it be full of happy experiences and healing from 2010.
Now, I try to move forward. That is very hard at times. She was such a large part of my everyday process. Now I have empty chunks of time in my schedule and struggle with how to fill the time. Every week seems to get better, I know that my house has never been so clean! I continue to keep very busy with work, which was a godsend as well a crutch. I would keep so busy with my schedule at work that I wouldn't really have time to grieve until after everyone was in bed for the night. Then I would feel. Feel all the loss and pain. Sleeping was a struggle. I finally had to ask my doctor for something to help. I now seem to be handling the sleeping, which in turn has helped with handling the emotions and grieving process.
The best part to come from all of this, is the reconnection with family. Family that I have not seen since a small child. I know that this would make my mother very happy. Connecting with her father and her brothers was always very huge for her. Now I plan to do this for her. It has definitely been therapeutic for me. I just wish that it hadn't taken her death to make this process actually happen. I had connected with Jeff and Jon before she became ill, but didn't connect with Joel until after she ended up at Spectrum. Now, Joel and I email and chat frequently. My grandfather isn't doing so well, but my uncles are taking very good care of him and respecting his wishes as well. My hope is to visit him soon. Something else that my mother would have loved to have done, and would be happy to see something like that happen.
My goal is to now resume my studies for certification. I had to put them aside during all the craziness over the last couple of months. I am also contemplating college courses. Doesn't hurt...right?
The kids continue to do very well in school. Dustin, is now showing some interest in college. Which is GOOD! Which means he has goals developing. Anna has a boyfriend! Way too young, but if I fight it...it will only cause problems. For now, she shares everything and that is the way I want it to stay. Plus, it could just be a phase she is going through and she may loose interest???
The next couple of weeks will be full of finalizing my mothers affairs and sorting through papers and pictures. I pray that the life insurance pays out, so that I can pay for the funeral expenses and start looking for a proper headstone. And the studying, can't forget the studying!
Here's to 2011, may it be full of happy experiences and healing from 2010.
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